Recently, I came to a realization. It was creeping in, slowly but surely and one day it hit my brain: I don’t like going out anymore because I am single! Usually people like going out when being single.. to mingle. The thing is, I enjoy being single and there is no wish to change this. However, it seems like I have hit an age at which it is simply not acceptable (at least for others) that I am single. No matter where I go, be it just casually going out meeting friends and consequently other people through them, be it a work function or, and that’s the saddest part of my realization, be it just going home to Germany to see my family. Continue reading “The Single Woman”
Category: Relationships
When life gives you lemons…
… make lemonade or ask for salt and tequila!! For example if the one you like marries someone else..
Bad Boys
Imagine this moment: you are in your car, driving back home from an unexpected good evening. A work function that you actually didn’t feel like going and you end up going because you feel obliged to go. Surprisingly, you meet interesting people, have good chats and learn about the latest hot spots in town from the insiders (Good to hear about the latest hot spots because since I became a couch potato I feel a bit out of touch).
So, you drive home and you hear this song on the radio that just makes you sing along… It’s this one song that you can associate yourself with just fine. It’s this one song, you think speaks your mind and still, it makes you smile: Well, for me it’s this song:
“Yeah, the bad boys are always catching my eye. I said the bad boys are always spinning my mind. Even though I know they’re no good for me. It’s the risk I take for the chemistry.With the bad boys always catching my eye. Ooh, bad boys”
So, so, so true! And exactly why I better keep my distance to any man…because I just know that it will be … guess what: of course, the bad boy (laughing at myself at this stage and taking everything with a pinch of salt:-).
Expectations, expectations, expectations
I expected 2011 to be a great year! All the right signs were there.. and it did start off amazingly with fulfilling a childhood-dream: visiting the Pyramids of Giza!! On top of that, another highlight (this time a teenage-dream) of the egypt-trip was spending quality time with the man who had really gotten under my skin.
From then on the remaining part of the year 2011 (356/365) can be written off. Just like a car after a fatal accident when you are left behind to bury the dead (literally).
I guess it is just natural and probably a bit of self-protection to not expect ANYTHING at all of 2012! In fact, I already know that the first half of this year will just continue as 2011 ended. I know this because my horoscope told me that Saturn will stay in my sign and only leave in September.. and apparently Saturn is not a good planet to have in my star sign (mmmhhhh.. although I admit this sounds almost a bit too esoteric for my taste..).
Yet again, just because I have read my horoscope already it will happen exactly like they predict – self-fulfilling prophecy! Nothing I can do. Besides that, I also know that I still have to clean up that mess after the mentioned car crash and only once that is done (which will most probably take until mid-year) 2012 will get better! So, if I want to admit it or not.. the horoscope is absolutely right!
Nevertheless , there is a light at the end of the tunnel.. even in the gloomy looking first half of 2012: a trip to Seattle is planned! Starting in 3 1/2 weeks…oops.. do I start to sound almost enthusiastic?? I have to hold myself back.. So, maybe I should just expect the worst??? A boring trip during the coldest time with damn long flying hours, and so on and so on… Well, if I do that then it can actually only get better and maybe it will go into my very own history of best, most spectacular and most memorable trips ever? Therefore, I have no expectations whatsoever neither for this trip, nor for 2012 and I am just excited to be surprised what 2012 will be like!
Worth a read!
Loving the blog! And in this post especially the new years message and the birthday-present thing! Hilarious and so true!!!
Stereotype: Pilot
When I saw this video, I was instantly reminded of my very first post: Stereotype Pilot!
Since that post was published, I have met the mentioned pilot for dinner and he insisted that I put his profession into a good light again..well, I hope the video does it for me. After all, I would have not agreed on dinner if I thought badly of them (or him for that matter)..
Language does matter
Somewhere sometime ago I read that language influences the way we think. I have read it in the context of a comparison between Asian and European languages. Meanwhile, I think that this also applies very much so to intra European languages. Even to the ones that belong to the same linguistic family.
I am talking specifically about English and German – both Germanic languages by the way.. so, you’d think that people speaking these languages should somehow think in a similar way. At least more similar than an English native speaker and a Chinese native speaker, or more similar than a German and a Vietnamese. Theoretically. Hypothetically. Wishful thinking.
I somehow seem to have a language problem with Continue reading “Language does matter”
The long-distance thing
I’m not sure about you, but I get to know more and more couples practising the long-distance kind of relationship. This made me think and the result of my week-long thinking process was quite surprising to myself: I actually think it is possible! Maybe it is not that surprising after all, since I am on the move all the time. Nevertheless, I’ll even go further and say that it might be the better way of executing a relationship… well at least for me and the way I am thinking at the moment (but as we all know life is work in progress and attitudes can change). Coming out of a relationship in which we have been too close (distance wise not necessarily emotionally) this might be quite a refreshing alternative to try. And here is why I think it might actually work:
Why it might work 1: a small world
In a world of the world wide web, emails, Skype, tablets, iPhones and what not it is reasonable easy to maintain a long distance relationship. Everyone knows the fun that comes along at the beginning of reach relationship when couples still send cute messages to each other, telling each other “I miss you” in a message or at the end of a call (because they haven’t seen each for more than 5 hours). So why not prolonging this phase for a little longer? Technology can make us feel only a few miles away while in reality it is hundreds or even thousands. Someone told me recently that she hasn’t been to her new boyfriend’s house yet as he lives a few hours away and he usually visits her, so they were skyping and he gave her a virtual tour though his house. Once you are tired of being able to talk but not able to touch, you quickly book your next flight and off you go. Even that has become so easy and relatively inexpensive.
Why it might work 2: excitement
Despite the saying that a couple spending time apart is a couple in trouble, I think it can very well work out the opposite way. Nothing probably kills romance more than living on top of each other most of the time (oh yes.. experience is speaking). On top comes the excitement of the travelling. Each visit feels like a weekend away, you make it special! Oh and this reminds me of another advantage: you can let your hair grow in the time between and have it waxed just before you go! Great!
Why it might work 3: Independence
Especially when both parties are pursuing a career, a long distance relationship might have its advantages.. no one at home who is nagging about office hours, even if you spend half the night there you won’t be accused of infidelity. No obligations in terms of household duties, like filling the fridge or cooking.. sounds relatively manageble to me.
Last but not least:
A long distance relationship is surely nothing that you want to keep up forever but I don’t see a problem in starting the relationship off like that. Of course, I won’t deny that there are also lots of cons but if both parties are committed then this definitely works out. Obviously it depends on the distance and surely not being spread over two continents with a possibly time difference makes it easier, too. Although even this might work. A prime example is my old flatmate from Germany who moved to India for her job and the love of her life is spending most of his time in the States (West coast to make it even worse; read: farther away). Perhaps, it is a new wave of attitude spreading through my generation: not necessarily seeing a relationship as a total symbiosis but whatever works best – even if it means jetsetting between two countries!
(Vicky Cristina) Barcelona
I FINALLY managed to watch “Vicky Cristina Barcelona” last night. Thanks to a nasty cold that robbed me off my voice I decided to spend another Saturday night on my beloved couch and get a DVD. Vicky Cristina Barcelona (VCB) was high up on my list since I watched “Midnight in Paris” recently. Some might like it, some don’t, I do – Woody Allen’s virtual city guides covered by romantic love stories. Just like Midnight in Paris, VCB shows you the most famous sight-seeing spots of the respective city.
I love Barcelona! I love the Barri Gòtic with its gothic architecture, I love El Raval with its medieval character and I love Baceloneta with its baroque charm. I have spent the first 8 summers of my life in Barcelona. Then, after a long time of absence, I returned when I was in my twenties and since then I keep on coming back on a more or less regular basis.
My last visit to this city was somehow surreal and just like Vicky and Cristina I fell in love. Needless to say that just like Vicky’s or Cristina’s love story mine didn’t end with the happy end of a fairy tale either. Is it the influence of the likes of Picasso, Miro and Gaudi that shapes the way love goes in Barcelona? Thinking back, I realise that I already fell in love on the way to Barcelona in the plane (I can actually picture the exact moment). Not yet noticed by me back then, I was under the impression that it knocked me over at Parc Guell (Gaudi, another feature of Barcelona that makes it so unique compared to any other city). I finally melted away at the bar of the W. Where, in the spur of the moment and both of us already quite tipsy from all those Mojitos, I hear him say that he thinks he is falling in love with me. If he had only known that this had already happened to me (he would have probably not said anything at all ;)).
- W Barcelona
I have a feeling that the hotel we stayed in played its magical part, too. The baroque building with its pompous entrance hall, heavy curtains in the rooms and yet mixed with temporary furniture makes you feel you have entered another era. Centrally located, it is definitely a place to stay for lovers! Totally romantic!
When I watched VCB yesterday there was something Maria Elena said that just wouldn’t leave my mind throughout the night: “Only unfulfilled love can be romantic”. ..No matter how my story ended, this trip to Barcelona has been the most romantic trip of my life. I was never so happily in love before; I don’t want to miss those spontaneous kisses in the streets, spending the mornings in bed and the feeling of being in love in this magical city. Therefore I can truly say that it was definitely one of the best trips of my life!
My conclusion: I have only the fondest memories of this catalan city and I will definitely go back. Next time, I will visit my childhood love: Floquet de Neu (Snow Flake). He is the attraction of the Barcelona Zoo, a snow-white Gorilla. I remember nagging my parents every summer we were there to visit him in the zoo. I would like to know if he is actually still alive?
Where to find a hubby?
Imagine you are in your thirties, you don’t have a husband, no fiancé and not even a boyfriend. You’re life is pretty much focused on your career. You’re working long hours and you definitely don’t have the energy to go on a jol on weekdays. Friday nights are out too, because you are too exhausted from the week. That leaves you with Saturdays to be a socialista. And even then, you prefer your lunches, sundowners, braais rather than going out partying till the sun comes up . If you can imagine this then you’ve got a pretty accurate picture of me! Short: My energy level has dropped significantly since I have joined the corporate world.
Not that I’m looking for a boyfriend, fiancé or husband right now, but the thought has crossed my mind that someday I might want one. It also happened that recently, I became helplessly romantic and the thought of the love of my life proposing and wanting to spend the rest of his life with me is just the ultimate dream scenario I can image. So, I asked myself: Where will this future husband and father of my kids come from? Have I met him already or is it someone I am going to meet someday? Let’s discuss the second possibility here.. If I haven’t met him as yet, then the question comes up: where will I meet him?
Online dating is out of question for me personally. It’s just not appealing to me. Since I’m not going out a lot, that leaves me with two options and funny enough both options are related to my work.
Option 1: in the air! I fly a lot. Mostly on duty. The pleasure of travelling for duty purposes is that it is (space permitted) in business class. So you’d think that you’ll have this good-looking executive sitting next you. Every time I come to my seat I am excited to see who is sitting next me.
Hope: my age, good-looking, successful, no ring on his finger, sipping on his juice or cool drink and interested in me!
Reality check: 25 years older than me, huge belly, pseudo successful, ring on his finger, downing alcoholic drinks like water, interested in me!
NO THANK YOU!!!
Option 2: the workplace itself! Offices, conferences, meetings etc. People spend so much time at their workplace that it is most likely that they meet someone working for the same company if they are still single, in their thirties and busy focusing on their career. Does this work out? For one of my best friends it does. Believe it or not, they have worked in the same office for 7 (!!!) years and then they fell in love. Still very happy today and such a sexy couple.
Would that be something for me? Considering that maybe 80% (ok, I might be slightly exaggerating now but it is very close) of my male colleagues are gay, I have lost out already! The other 20% are a mixture of married men, men I don’t find attractive or … guess what.. yep, pilots!! Who I have labelled as players already – so, also no marriage material, plus my intuitive heartbreak-alert is on red!
NO THANK YOU!!!
By the way:
- I wrote this post onboard JNB-FRA – the seat next to me was…empty!
- I’m posting this post on a Saturday night – I’m a couch potato this evening, simply because I’m too exhausted from spending last night on an aeroplane seat!
Seems to me like a vicious circle! Is my job actually preventing me from getting married?????
Pilots: Stereotype vs Reality
For quite some time already I have this image of pilots wandering around my inner eye: good-looking, overly self-confident, charming, flirtatious, exciting, non-committed… short: PLAYERS. This image has mostly been shaped by stories I heard… “a friend of a friend whose flying husband cheated on her with this striking hot flight attendant while she was seven-months pregnant”… blah blah blah. All just unconfirmed stories since I actually never met a pilot myself. Then, FINALLY beginning of last year I did at a conference (nights in the bar included)! And since all good things come in threes, I met 3 at the same time!!!
All three of them extremely nice and all three of them heavily flirting with me. Two of them married – Preconception # 1 confirmed!
The third one calling my room at 3 am (after the bar closed and we all wanted to catch some sleep) asking if he could come over because we didn’t really have a chance to chat. And his voice.. not stuttering at all – so this was definitely not the first time he called at a female colleague’s room in the middle of the night – Preconception # 2 confirmed!
Oh yes…he is extremely good-looking, charming with a smile of note (I will only speak about the not married one here) – Preconception #3 confirmed!
But this is just my personal view, which might be influenced by my history with men and consequential trust-issues in general.So, what’s the other stereotypical image of a pilot:
Reader’s Digest’, manager magazine, Unispiegel and other more or less trustworthy sources all confirm through conducted surveys that one of the most trusted professions is the one of a pilot. I suppose there is some truth behind it.. Think about it: When you hear that someone is a pilot there is automatically some kind of respect involved. It might be because we know that their training programme is quite tough, starting already with the selection process of those who want to become one: Their eyesight must be perfect, they must have a certain height (although I don’t know why.. don’t they sit most of the time???) and they must be able to multi task (here, all male pilots definitely earn my portion of respect). Once the few chosen ones have been selected and successfully finished their training over the Arizonan desert, they will take over the responsibility of carrying up to 526 passengers (at least in an A380) safely from one airport to their other. Yip that also gives them a few more extra points! On top, the general opinion is that they earn their fair share of the huge responsibility they take over (well, this is definitely the case at the company I am working for). And often, respect for a profession comes with the income scale they are in.
Recently I came across a newspaper article that confirmed MY image. Titillating photographs showing two crew members, widely reported to be a pilot and a flight attendant, in decidedly compromising positions appeared in the Hong Kong news media. Both were fired and Cathay’s planned ad campaign which bears the slogan “meet the team that goes the extra mile,” had to be postponed.
I had sent this article to my pilot friend (yes, the one who called my room in the middle of the night) and he laughed his head of… mmhhhhh is this in agreement or in disagreement?????? I wonder….
Confessions of a Traveler 